


Cornflowers

by loni_meow



Series: GerPan [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: First Kiss, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 10:08:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18519265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loni_meow/pseuds/loni_meow
Summary: Japan gets the Hanahaki Desease because his love isn't returned by Germany - or is it?





	Cornflowers

Japan stared at Germany who was talking to Italy, seemingly scolding him about being too late or something. The scolding didn't last long though and he soon turned around while Italy took his place next to Japan, who was always in time when it was about meetings or trainings.

Probably because he wanted to talk to Germany for a few minutes alone or just wanted to stare at him while he planned the training or something.

Sometimes he even asked if he needed help with the planning, but he always said no. Japan then mostly just nodded and sat down or stood quietly around the area to watch Germany.

He liked how concentrated the blonde looked, focused on his plans and strategies for battle. And he liked to be praised by him when he did what he wanted or improved in the training. Sometimes Germany even seemed a bit flustered, since Italy did mostly what he wanted and wasn't really interested in training at all.

But Japan, oh, he tried really hard. And he was getting better, even though he still was quite small and sometimes looked fragile.

Japan liked to see Germany flustered, it was something rather usual but it made his heart race, simply seeing him in that state of feeling just because of something he did or said.

To be honest, Japan liked many, many things about Germany. So many, that denying his crush on the blonde nation became too pathetic, even for Japan, who didn't even rely on his own feelings. But how could there be more obvious hints on a crush than your racing heart, the warmth spreading through your body, butterflies in your stomach and the sudden want of interacting with that one person?

"Uhh, Japan, are you alright?" the German asked, bringing the Japanese man back to reality.  
He blushed slightly, realizing that he was still staring at Germany while he had been thinking. How could this happen? He was really just getting embarrassed, but still nodded to at least answer that question.

Italy and Germany were staring at him in that moment, both quite confused, but not asking anything anymore.

"Okay, so, let's start the training," the German began, raising his voice.

Japan tried his best to concentrate, but somehow his thoughts were centered on Germany more than anything else. And, oh, how could he forget, it was also about the question why Germany just wouldn't return the love.

...

The training was over, Italy had left already. Only Japan and Germany were standing there now.

Germany walked up to Japan, putting a hand on his shoulder, what made him shudder shortly. He slowly got used to being touched, but it felt different with Germany. Especially when he was staring into his eyes with those heavy light blue eyes.

"You're doing really great lately. But today, you seemed quite absent. Are you okay, mein Freund?" he asked calm and somehow gentle and Japan gulped shortly. "I don't know what was going on in my head. I was just feeling weird today. I'm really sorry."

He looked at Germany and felt some unpleasant feeling rise up from his chest, as if he'd have to vomit or something. The feeling got stronger as he tried ignoring it to spent that little moment of staring at each other in sadness about the fact that the taller nation didn't return his feelings.

"You're getting pale," Germany said, putting a hand on Japan's forehead out of nowhere, which started the smaller male. "You're not alright, what's-"

Japan suddenly started coughing roughly, turning away from Germany to keep him safe from being hit with vomit or something.  
His heart was racing as nothing happened but his coughing, and the shivering of his body.  
Something was off. Something took all of his air and put his body into this state for no reason because nothing was coming out.

"Japan?!" he heard Germany yell, leaning down to try getting Japan upwards again, but the nation turned his head as he gulped for a moment and tasted something weird.

 _Oh no, no no no._ _Don't_ _let_ _it_ _be_ _what_ _I think_ _it_ _is_ _,_ he prayed, coughing hardly as suddenly, it was gone.

But there was a little cornflower petal coming out of his mouth, and he catched it with his hands and covered it quickly before Germany could see it. Then he stood uptight again, looking into Germany's face, which showed a lot of worry, before he had a little weakness attack and stumbled backwards.

Germany catched him and stared at him confused and caring, "What's going on?"  
Japan blinked dumbfounded before he tried standing on his own again.  
The first petal was always surprising and tiring.

And of course Japan knew which illness this was. But he couldn't tell Germany, right? It would... solve itself on it's own... if it could do that.  
"I-I... uh.... I think I maybe choked on something..." he got together, sounding unbelievable, what even Germany noticed.

But just before he could say something, Japan felt another cough rising up in his throat. He tried his best to suppress it but then couldn't resist anymore.  
He coughed hard but only once this time, leaving another cornflower petal falling out into the environment.  
And this time, he wasn't fast enough to hide it from Germany.

Both of their eyes widened at the sight, Japan quietly whispering "no" as he fought himself out of Germany's grip.  
"Forget what you just saw."  
"You coughed out a flower petal."  
"No, you must be seeing things."  
"Japan."  
"No!" he gasped hysterical, causing another cough and another flower petal.  
"Again. It happened again!"  
"Gah... Don't look at it, it's nothing!"  
"You're coughing up _flower_ _petals_ _!_ Of course it's not nothing!"

Japan had tears in his eyes, as he again, coughed and left a flower petal into the outside. This time, Germany was fast enough to catch it and did it, holding the petal in his hand, staring at it completely confused.

"Cornflowers... how did it come into your body... Japan, do you need to go to the hospital?" Germany asked, putting his hands on the nations shoulders to stare him into the eyes.

The only reason why Japan didn't try to shrug the grip off was, that he still felt numb because of the petals coming out.

"I just need to go home... Please, Germany... Don't question it, just bring me home... Teleport me home..." he muttered, his eyes slowly closing.  
And because Germany was quite sure that he wouldn't stand being awake any longer, he picked the smaller male up into his arms and carried him like that.

At first, Japan's eyes widened, but then, he just leaned against Germany's chest and closed his eyes, relaxed as well as he could, even though the petals were still rising in his throat.

He could hear Germany's heart beating, and it made him crack a little smile. Also, he was getting warmth by the other nation, warmth that he had reached for so many times in his head.  
He relaxed in his arms and didn't even try to stop himself from falling asleep, he just let it happen in that one moment. It wasn't too bad, being touched from the person that you love.

Germany on the other hand, had no idea what Japan was feeling. He just thought that it was kinda cute how Japan just fell asleep after coughing a few times, even though he didn't seem to care anymore at that point. And as he used the teleportation to Japan's house, he realized how he actually liked to see Japan completely relaxed and almost smiling.

But they were at his home, and Germany wouldn't stay with him until he woke up, he'd trust him and let him stay at home for a while. But staying with him all the time now would be kinda creepy, right?

He nodded to himself and walked into the house, just so he could put Japan down into his bed in his room.  
He gently layed him on his side so that he wouldn't have to fear suffocating on the flower petals if they would come out again, and then he took the blanket and carefully put it over him.

Then, he gave Japan a last glare and nodded again, hoping that he'd be better soon.

...

If only he had known.

Japan just layed in his bed, which was full of flowers. He couldn't move anymore, he was just caughing them out and out and out and not even in petals anymore, now he coughed up the whole flowers, he couldn't even sleep. But there was still that little hope, so small but valid, that Germany would come back, that he'd do a research, that he'd love him back, just anything.

But he knew that death was coming for him. He knew that as he started to cough up blood with the flowers. They were destroying his body now. He couldn't even get up to get a surgery, if he really wanted to. No, if he moved, his body would be in immense pain. Just like his throat was all the time.

All the time was good to say.  
He didn't knew what that meant anymore.  
Japan had no feeling for time anymore, just nothing. The days and nights where coming and going, and nothing happened except for the fact that his bed became more and more over filled with cornflowers.

His eyes were burning and he felt that his breathing almost wasn't recognizable anymore.

And he knew.

He knew that death was coming for him now.

He knew that Hanahaki would kill him now. Ironic to see that happen, after all it came from his country.  
He just closed his eyes and enjoyed a short moment of them not burning until a pressure appeared in his chest, making him start to cough the flowers out again.  
Japan just wanted to die. Nothing else anymore. This all didn't make sense for him anymore. He had just hoped that he wouldn't suffer too much under this because of being a nation.

...

Germany was worrying about him. It had been a month since he had seen Japan, and around two weeks ago, a message had arrived, that he'd be fine and just needed a little time. Well, the blonde nation hated to interfere in other's privacy too much, especially when it's about Japan, but this was too long and if he thought back to what happened the last time he was with him, shivers ran down his spine and he suddenly felt bad that he didn't come earlier.

But now he was standing in front of Japan's house, which wasn't quite close to a city or something, what made him glad on the other hand.  
It wouldn't be that great if people saw him arrive here out of nowhere.

He walked up to the door and opened it, not trying to reach Japan, because he kinda knew that it wouldn't work anymore. So, he just walked in and closed the door behind him.

He remembered where the bed was on that he had put him down as he brought him here and quickly went through the house to that spot.

And as he arrived, he gasped and stumbled a few steps back.  
There he was, lying on his back, only breathing slightly. His skin was pale and he had dark circles under his eyes and seemed to have become so much leaner than he was before. He was almost just a shadow lying on the bed, a ghost, surrounded by whole cornflowers.

And he seemed to be so mentally gone, that he didn't realize that Germany was there. He just stared up at the wall with reddened eyes.

"Japan?" Germany said after gulping a few times. It scared him, to be honest. It scared the living hell out of him.  
And it hurt his heart to see Japan like this. He just wanted him to feel better soon, and he suddenly felt so bad that he hadn't come sooner, so bad.

The black-haired turned his head and tears started to form in his eyes, as he put a hand at his throat and stared at Germany, longing, happy, begging.

The German walked towards him and sat down on the edge of his bed, shoving the flowers that were placed there a bit away, but he still picked up one of them and looked at it.  
"Cornflowers. At least not roses," he sighed and then put the flower back on Japan's bed, while Japan himself nodded.

He didn't know if he could talk, but he just needed to, he wanted to. Especially as Germany took his hands into one of his, looking at Japan, waiting for that what he wanted to say.  
"I... I'm glad you're... here," he whispered with his voice even quieter than usual.

"I'm glad you're alive," Germany answered, letting his hand sink on Japan's back and the other one on his legs, to then gently put him into a sitting position.  
That caused him to cough up a cornflower that had been sitting in his throat but didn't come out.

Japan catched this one and gulped, looked at Germany.  
"Thanks... I couldn't move anymore... my body is in so much pain..." he said louder and it seemed to be easier for him after that flower came out.

"I should bring you to the hospital," Germany meant and just wanted to pick him up with his hands, as Japan took one of his wrists with his own hand.

"The surgery is really riskful," he murmured, "I don't want to do it. I'll rather stay in pain than die in a surgery to just come back again because I'm a country."  
"That... this... is a common desease?" Germany asked, his worry increasing.  
"Not really... it's fictional, but some people are said to have suffered under it already. Some of them died at the surgery, some of them died because of the desease, some of them got the returned love heal-"  
Japan broke his sentence at that part and gulped heavily.

"So you get it when you're in love and your crush doesn't return it?" Germany put together, still being held by Japan at his wrist, seeming to get through what's happening here.  
"E-Exactly. It's the Hanahaki Desease. The favourite flowers of your crush start to grow in your lungs and you'll proceed to cough them out until you suffocate on them. Or until you know your crush returns the love."

His body stiffened and as if it wanted to give another example, he coughed up a really big flower that took him long and that came out with a bit of blood this time.

"That's... heavy. Will you tell me who you've fallen in love with?" Germany asked, seeing how Japan stiffened again, but not because of a flower.  
But as he saw the blood sticking on the flower that had come out a few moments before, he began to seem almost hysterical and leaned forward, freed his hand and placed them both on the smaller man's shoulders.

"It's destroying your body," he said and looked into Japan's eyes, "Please, there must be a way to help you."

"I..." Japan started, but he couldn't stand the glare of Germany, instead his own glare wandered a bit down, sticking on to the taller male's lips for a second, before he realized that it would be weird, so he looked up again and saw how Germany had followed his glance wandering.

Japan's cheeks reddened and he bit his lip, heart racing. What he didn't know was, that Germany's heart was racing too. He had seen Japan's glare down to his lips, and it made him feel warmer. Could it be that Japan... no. It must be someone else.  
But the way he was biting down on his lip now... Germany shook his head slightly, and then kept his eyes locked with Japan's.

"Wait... Cornflowers are my favourite flowers... and you... could it be that I am the one you fell in love with?" he asked unsure, hoping that he wouldn't embarrass himself with that conclusion.

But Japan's eyes became wet and soon a few tears ran down his cheeks, all followed by another flower being coughed out.

"Hai... yes... you're right," he brought out, holding his hands at his throat, just not caring anymore.

Germany's eyes widened and he took a deep breath, trying to get track of everything. He was the one Japan fell for.  
And as he eyed the black-haired man, he saw guilt in his eyes.  
"I'm sorry for telling you, you must be feeling bad now because of me... I'm so sorry," he muttered, watching Germany's movements with much attention.

He saw how he put a hand on the place where his heart is, feeling how extreme it was racing. His face heated up a bit and he looked at Japan.

"You have no need to be sorry."  
And with that, Germany leaned even more forwards, his one hand placed on Japan's neck to pull him closer.  
Just shortly before their lips met, he stopped and watched Japan's face, the closed eyes, waiting for something to happen.  
"You don't have to suffer anymore. I love you too, Japan," he whispered against the other's lips, seeing him shiver a little bit.

And then, he kissed him softly. Japan immediately returned the kiss and even put his hands around Germany's neck to pull him closer. He felt so happy, and it felt as if the hard pressure in his chest was finally leaving, no flower was going to rip him apart anymore, and even if Germany could taste blood on Japan's lips, he was happy, and he eventually licked the blood up, making Japan gasp shortly, his fragile body shivering again.  
Germany then broke the kiss gently and backed up a bit to smile slightly at Japan.

"Now let's get you healthy again," he said, as he lightly put a finger on one of the dark circles under Japan's eyes.  
  



End file.
